I am going to have a nervous breakdown before this pregnancy is over!

I had the BIGGEST scare of my life today. It started yesterday at 4:30ish when I was on my way home from work. I started having discomfort/pain in my lower abdomen but couldn't figure out if I was going to have diarrhea, or if it was uterine cramping. So I hurried home and went to the bathroom... no blood. The cramping got worse as the night progressed, and I thought for sure something was wrong... but by the time I went to bed at 11:30 I still hadn't had any bleeding, even though the cramps were still there.

Well, at 2:30AM I woke up and felt like I'd peed the bed. I went to the bathroom and there was a LOT of blood in my underwear and even more came out in the toilet. I screamed for Jimmy, told him I thought I was miscarrying, and he took me to the ER (which is luckily a quick 2 minute drive). I called my parents who met us at the hospital. We all sat and prayed while we waited for them to take me back, which luckily didn't take but 30 minutes. They did an ultrasound right away, and the tech kept telling me that legally she wasn't allowed to say anything since she was just a tech, that she just took the pictures and the radiologist would interpret and tell me the results. At one point she turned the sound on and I heard a heartbeat, and started crying and asked "is that my heartbeat or the baby's???" and she said "it's yours, it's the blood supply to the ovary. Why are you crying? Are you in pain or are you worried?" and I said "I'm worried" and she paused, turned to me and said very sternly "you are worrying for NOTHING" which I took as her subtle, legal way of telling me everything looked good. A few seconds later she said "the baby is still there, in your uterus, with a heartbeat" and I started crying and asked "what is it measuring?" and she said "9 weeks and 4 days" which is perfect, because that is how far I am. Then she kept taking pictures and I didn't like the silence so I asked "what are you looking at now?" and she said "I'm just trying to get the heartbeat, but the baby is moving around so much I can't get it!" and I said "oh,I wish I could see!" so she turned the screen so I could see... most beautiful thing ever. It looks SO different from the first ultrasound. It had arms, legs, a head, a nose... it was a little miniature baby, moving its legs and arms and wiggling.

So after that I went back to my ER room and told everyone the good news. I was still concerned about WHY I was bleeding if the baby was ok, and the doctor came in about an hour later (longest hour of my life) and said it was a subchorionic hemorrhage which is basically trapped blood under the placenta that found its was out and irritated my uterus so that it would be expelled. He said blood is very irritating to the uterus which caused the cramping. They did blood work and found that my HCG was 139,000, which is AMAZING, and then he did a pelvic exam to make sure my cervix was closed and it was. He also said there were no signs of "active bleeding" on the ultrasound and all he saw during the pelvic exam was old blood.

I have never been so scared or stressed out in all my life. I thought I was losing the most precious gift I have ever been given, and I am so thankful everything is ok. Poor Jimmy was so tired, and left around 5:30 since we knew the baby was ok and he had to go to work. I called him after they did the other exams and tests to tell him everything was ok. They released me at 7:30 and told me to take it easy today, get rest, so after my parents took me out to breakfast I came home and slept until 1:00pm. I am feeling pretty good right now and hope everything stays ok. I am worried because some things I read about subchorionic hemorrhage says it increases your chance of miscarriage if it hemorrhages in the first trimester... but I am staying positive!

If everyone who reads this could just keep us in your prayers I would appreciate it! I hope this is the last scary thing to happen during this pregnancy.

Random

I have been feeling soooo sick lately. I finally threw up the other night, my poor husband was there holding my hair back. It was nonstop! I assume the baby didn't like what I had for dinner, because I haven't thrown up since (although I have come close). It's funny because earlier that same day I was telling someone that I hadn't really had much morning sickness, and they said "you're having a boy!!" because supposedly if you are having a boy, you don't get much morning sickness, but if you are having a girl you are sick all the time. I don't think I believe that though because my friend Sarah was violently ill with both of her pregnancies... one girl and one boy. Then there is the whole speculation that boys attach on the right side of the uterus and girls attach on the left side. Well, I am pretty sure our baby is attached on the right, but I will confirm that at my next ultrasound (which was supposed to be April 14th but I had to move it to April 21st due to clinical). Either way, I will be happy with a boy or a girl! Can't wait to find out in 9 weeks!

Speaking of clinical, we finished our LAST clinical last Thursday... now we just have Role Transformation which is basically a glorified clinical, but we don't have to do careplans or anything... we just show up and shadow a nurse for seven different 12 hour shifts. I hope I can survive with the way I have been feeling. We don't start that for another 3 weeks though.

I am so excited about spring break! I took off Thursday and Friday of that week (first week of April) because my brother will be in town, and I just need a break. It will be nice to not have any homework, although I will be studying for our LAST exam. It's a big one, cumulative over all of nursing school and we have to get an 85% or better. Scary!

Well, that is all for now. I am 9 weeks pregnant tomorrow so I will be posting a 9-week survey complete with a picture. I think my stomach is bigger, but it's probably just fat, lol.

I will NEVER have a nanny!

It takes one person to ruin something for everyone else. I am sure this type of thing is very rare, but my God, I will never have my kids watched by anyone other than family.

http://www.news4jax.com/video/22881971/index.html

Morning sickness and mood swings

My poor husband. I have felt so sick the past few days, and I think the morning sickness coupled with the pregnancy hormones have been giving me awful mood swings. I flipped out on Sunday and started crying about something so minor. Even as I was crying and complaining through my tears, I KNEW I was being ridiculous. I guess he felt bad about it though because he came home from the grocery store with flowers. Such a sweet guy (most of the time, lol).

It's funny how I went for a few weeks without any symptoms aside from sore breasts and having to pee a lot. Now I wake up every morning and think I will vomit before I make it to the bathroom. Crazy thing is... I have yet to vomit! I just get really nauseated, but by the time I get up and get to the bathroom it is a little better, and then after I drink some water and take a couple bites of something, it gets even better. I feel nauseated through most of the day, but I am getting used to it now. I am glad to have these feelings because it reassures me that everything is OK.

I need to post a new survey. I would have done them every week but there is really nothing new, so I think I will do it every 4 weeks until things really start progressing. So, I will post one at 9 weeks, which is only 1 week away now! :o) I realized the other day that on my birthday, April 1st (4-1) I will be 1/4 of the way through my pregnancy (10 weeks)!!! 4-1 and 1/4. Crazy. And on my birthday! I feel so blessed to have made it to 8 weeks without any problems. I think most women miscarry by 8 weeks, although I realize I am not out of the woods until the end of the 12th week.

We get our next ultrasound on April 14th. It is called a nuchal translucency scan where they check for genetic abnormalities. I know we are too young so it is pointless for us, but it was offered to me and I can't pass up the opportunity to see our baby! Unfortunately Jimmy can't go with because they are doing special training in April that he can't miss. However, my mom is VERY excited about going with me. She wanted to go to the first one but Jimmy and I decided it was something we wanted to do alone. It just stinks because the baby will actually LOOK like a baby at this next ultrasound and be moving around and stuff, and he will miss that :o(. Oh well. As long as he can go to the 18 week scan where we find out if it's a boy or a girl!

Well, this was a very boring, pointless post. Hopefully I will have more exciting things to talk about next time.

Introducing the first picture of baby Sirois!

The doctor used the word "perfect" to describe our baby! The heart was beating beautifully, and the baby was exactly where it needed to be in my uterus (high and center!) What a great day!

Tired

I am trying to be better about updating my blog now that I have something positive to update about :o) However, I have been extremely tired lately, to the point where I go to bed about an hour and a half earlier every night than I used to, and take a nap for at least an hour every day when I get home. I can't function at night and get anything done if I don't have my nap. So, along with fatigue comes no energy to update my blog! I like the idea of documenting the way I feel though so that one day our baby can see how much we wanted him/her and how happy we were to finally get to this point!

So, lately I have been feeling scared about losing the baby. I have felt that way since day one, but I read a message board online for expectant mothers and it always breaks my heart and worries me when I see a post about someone who had a miscarriage. Also, my sister Heather had a miscarriage about a year ago. She started bleeding at about 12 weeks and went into the doctor, and after seeing the doctor they told her she was most likely miscarrying, gave her some progesterone and told her to go home and stay in bed until Monday (this happened on a Saturday) when she could come into the office and get an ultrasound. When she got there on Monday, the tech did the ultrasound, was silent looking in her uterus for about 10 minutes, then went to leave the room, telling her that the doctor would be in soon. Before he left, he paused, turned around and said "and I'm sorry, but I didn't see a heart beat." Turns out the baby had died at 9 weeks, and had been dead inside her for 3 and a half weeks. It was so devastating for her. Anyway, a lot of people seem to miscarry around 8 weeks, so I will be relieved when I start my 9th week, but I know I'm not fully out of the woods until the beginning of week 13. Although honestly, I truly feel inside that everything is fine, but so far being pregnant has been very scary and nerve wracking for me. I just have to stay calm and positive and eat healthy and not strain myself too much.

In other news, I have my 4th test on Monday and a paper due as well. After that I just have 2 more exams, then the HESI exam, then spring break, then we do our final HESI Exit exam, and we start Role Transformation. May 3rd can't come soon enough! Maybe I will finally get some quality sleep :o)

My husband is doing really well in the police academy. He has made several friends and seems to be enjoying himself. It's crazy to think about all the changes that have happened with us in the past 2 months. It was hard adjusting there for a few weeks, but I feel pretty calm and happy, and I think he does, too. He is excited about the baby, and extremely happy that we didn't have to spend money doing IUI or in vitro, lol. I love my husband. He makes every day happier and funnier. I can't wait to see how he is with his own newborn baby. Should be some very funny and interesting days!

2010 is going to be the best year yet. Jimmy gets his first "real" job. I graduate from nursing school, hopefully get my RN license, and hopefully get my first RN job. Then, we have a baby! I love that the baby will be here before the holidays. This will be the best Thanksgiving and Christmas ever!

Until next time...