On the eve of your birth

Lauryn,

On the eve of your birth, I am feeling many emotions. I am anxious, scared, excited, hopeful, curious and elated. I am anxious to feel how much pain I will really be in tomorrow, and I pray that it isn't so much for me to handle so I can avoid an epidural, which would be the healthiest option for you.

I am scared about becoming a mother, though it is something I have wanted since I first learned what a mother was. I hope I am a good mother to you and that I make the best decisions possible so that you grow up to be the best person you possibly can.

I am excited for many reasons, like meeting you, seeing your daddy hold you, watching your grandma Nancy hold you (and, no doubt, cry hysterically, as she has waited to meet you for a very long time), and lastly, I am excited to be able to sleep on my stomach again!

I am hopeful that everything will go smoothly tomorrow, and that you will be born healthy and without complications, and that we will both get to go home on Saturday without problems.

I am curious to see what you look like: will you have my eyes and lips, and your daddy's cute dimpled chin? Will you have dark hair, light hair, or no hair? Will you have a "button nose" as your grandma Nancy calls it?

Most importantly, I am elated. I am elated that God has chosen me to be your mother. I haven't met you yet but I love you so much already. No matter what, tomorrow you will be born perfect in my eyes. I will love you unconditionally and take the best care of you that I possibly can. I won't be able to protect you inside my belly anymore, but you will always be safe and will have everything you need, even if it means me going without.

So, enjoy your last day inside of me, because tomorrow is a big day!

Love,
Your mommy