Today has been an emotional day for me. I try to ignore all the 9/11 hype because I don't believe that we should have to be put through that horrible day again once a year. September 11, 2001 was enough for me. I remember what happened, and I don't need to be reminded of every detail via the news. So, I tried to ignore it today, but as I was at work, and I went into a patient's room to give medicine, her TV was blaring (because she is hard of hearing) and it was a recording of a message that a distraught mother had left on her home answering machine after she realized her plane was overtaken by terrorists: she sobbed through her words, "Mommy really wanted to make it home today, but she can't. She loves you very much." That was it. I had to go sit in the break room and compose myself.
I think all the time about how lucky I am to still be here. You hear of tragedies every day... people who don't make it to work, people who don't make it home, whether it be at the hands of a murderer, or in a car accident, or a massive heart attack. Life is precious.
Last Thursday, I had a close call. It made the words of the distraught mother on one of the flights on 9/11 even more unsettling. My husband and I were driving to have lunch, on a beautiful crisp fall day, when our car came to a complete and sudden stop and there was an "explosion" which I realized 5 seconds later was the sound of our car hitting another car and our airbags deploying. Then I smelled fire and gasoline. After I got over the initial shock of the situation and the pain I felt on the right side of my face, I realized we had been in a car accident. I heard my husband yelling my name, and I yelled his name back. I unbuckled, and tried the door, but it was jammed. In those moments I was terrified. I thought I was going to burn to death in our car. A million things went through my mind. I think now about the people of 9/11. The ones in the planes that KNEW they were about to die. The ones stuck in the towers who KNEW they were going to die. The ones who had no other choice but to jump out a window on the 93rd floor, KNOWING they were jumping to their death. I tried the door again and got out, and ran around to the passenger door where my husband had finally gotten out. His door hadn't worked either. We ran from the car, seriously thinking it would explode (we later were laughed at by the firefighters. Apparently cars don't explode anymore because of new technology). Our brand new 2011 Chevy Equinox was totaled, I couldn't see out of my right eye from the airbag and had to go via ambulance to the ER... and this was all thanks to a man who was too impatient to wait for us to pass before trying to turn into a bank parking lot from the other side of the road. I wasn't mad then, because I was hurt and scared and confused, but I am mad now. He is so lucky our beautiful 10 month old daughter wasn't in the car with us, because I would have gone crazy on him.
The words of the mother echo in my ear, and I am so thankful that, at least for today, I made it home to my daughter. I am so thankful that God has granted me another day. It's not a promise for tomorrow, but I am thankful for today.
So, another 9/11 tribute day has come and gone.. and we should all be thankful we were here to see it.
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